Part 2 of the Feminist Chronicles: Why can women never win?

by Jayla Shanmugam , Editor-in-Chief

The following story was written by a student on the staff of The Jaguar Times as part of Hilliard Bradley High School’s Journalism Production course.

I feel like in terms of society women can never do anything right. Let me explain. In our culture women only exist on a spectrum of extremes, yet no matter where they reside they are judged. If a woman is tough and takes charge; she is bossy. Yet, if a woman stands aside and follows others, she is not leadership worthy. If a woman dresses modestly; she is a prude, however if she dresses provocatively that is also looked down upon. If a woman is extremely smart; she is a know-it-all, but if she isn’t as academically gifted she is deemed an “idiot”. If a woman is in touch with her emotions, she is hysterical and fragile. But if she is more emotionally reserved, she is cold hearted. These are just a few examples of an issue that women face on a daily basis and it is absolutely exhausting. We see it all of the time in politics, the entertainment industry, sports, etc.

Amazing, powerful women can never just be that. There is always a negative label attached to them, no matter what they do. A girl will likely get judged no matter how she acts, dresses, speaks, etc. It is a rigorous and unattainable game that women are almost forced into playing if they want to reach success. I have experienced this first hand on numerous occasions. Whether it be someone commenting that it is a shame that my “pretty looks” are going to waste because of how “ obnoxiously opinionated” I am, or people commenting that I am a “b****” or bossy when I take charge in a situation. I wanted to get student and staff opinions on this at Bradley because I feel that it is a problem that goes frequently unnoticed.

Women are complex and have amazing goals despite the stigmas they are victim to. Photo by Unsplash .

The first thing I wanted to establish was if other women experienced or noticed the same judgement that I have. When asked about if she believes that this is a problem, Miss Burke stated, “Absolutely. Women are compared to not only men everyday, but also women. One size doesn’t fit all, but for some reason we are compared from one thing to another.” This is an incredible point as there is never going to be a “one size fits all” for women. Women, like everyone else, are constantly evolving. This type of mindset can stunt women’s growth. Aubrey Hyrmer (12) also agrees with Miss Burke, saying “Yes, I believe that this is a real problem.”

This dilemma is just one of the countless issues that women face. Throughout our country's history, women have been considered to be lesser than men and in my opinion this is where problems like this one is rooted from. Brianne Nutter (12) believes that this problem stems from, “multiple different places. Not only have women been looked down upon throughout history, but more recently women have been looked down upon due to the insecurities that some men frequently project. Society often forms men to believe that they need to be dominant. This causes them to become insecure in themselves when a woman challenges them.” This is an excellent point because a lot of the times men’s insecurities are what holds women back. This is not necessarily anyone’s fault specifically, as sexism is being pushed on us everywhere. It’s presented in the media, politics, schools, professional sports, Hollywood, etc. Most women that hold high positions in society could never behave the way that men do. We see the way that society treats men versus women and many of us internalize that misogyny.

That brings to question, do men face these types of criticism in the way that women do? I was curious as I am not a man and can not speak for them. When asked if he thinks that men have this same time of stigma Mr. Witt commented, “I don’t think there is necessarily the same assumptions about a man with those specific topics. I think that in society we try to box people in, but I think that the way that people do that towards men is in different ways.” I agree with Mr. Witt in that men certainly face stigmas when it comes to vulnerability, gender expression, etc. I also believe that on this specific topic, men aren’t as scrutinized as women. I personally have never come across a man feeling that any way they operate will be judged.

These messages being sent to women are incredibly harmful and hurtful to women’s confidence. I have personally witnessed many women who have been held back by these standards. Miss Burke shared that, “It has affected my confidence in just what I think I’m capable of. Unfortunately I care about what people think, so if they look at me and think that I am not smart or strong. Sometimes I take that as ‘what are they seeing in me that is telling them that?’”This isn’t an out of pocket feeling. Almost every single woman I interviewed has had an experience where their self assurance has been tainted because of the judgment they have faced.

The challenging part about issues like these is there is no easy fix. Sexism is so deeply embedded in our society, that a lot of the time our thoughts are clouded with them, myself included. I have considered myself to be a feminist for as long as I can remember and I always try to stay educated on the discrimination that women and men face all over the world. Despite this, sometimes I catch myself thinking sexist things. I understand that it isn’t the most flattering way to present myself, but I believe that it is a major step we all must take in helping resolve the misogyny around us. I personally learned about this from one of my favorite feminists, actresses, and activists, Jamella Jamil. She calls herself a “feminist in progress” because while she completely supports gender equality, she has tons to learn and unlearn. I asked Miss Bergstrom if she too sometimes has these subconscious beliefs and she commented, “I am going to be honest, yeah absolutely. If I see a really successful, beautiful woman I am going to be like, it’s because she is pretty. But, I don’t find myself externalizing that so much because I think it is an internal conversation. It is something that I always make sure to check myself on.” I think it is vital to recognize these belief systems in ourselves. This way we can actively resist the sexism that our society has infiltrated our minds with. It is extremely difficult to admit this to ourselves because nobody wants to believe that they have unconscious bias. However, sexism is in our culture looming around every turn, so we must always strive to be conscious in order to reject it.

In short, we have a lot of work to do as a society. This issue is just one of many, but I believe it is one that we need to address within ourselves. Why is society so judgmental towards women? Why is it so hard to accept complexity in women? Why can women only exist on one end of the spectrum or the other? And why do they get critiqued no matter where they reside? I also think it is important to address the fact that many people will read this story and believe that women need to just stop caring about what others think of them. My rebuttal to that is: How could the majority of women truly do that? These comments are constantly being made around us by friends, family members, colleagues, bosses, teachers, etc. This to me is not a long term solution. It is putting a bandaid over a bullet hole. So, I encourage you to examine yourself and the world around you so you can dissect the messages being sent to us. The world will be infinitely better when women can live in a world where these types of unattainable standards aren’t always pressing them.